sisters-in-law

 i’m in a pretty dark mood today and apparently my collective sisters-in-laws are going to get the brunt of it. I am thinking about christmas and that got me thinking about my gifts for their kids, and that got my thinking about the gifts they have given my kids, and then the stupid things they have done or said.

TH’s brother’s wife D, has said some nasty stuff to me, but always when no one else can hear. She lives very close to us.  Th’s sister, A, can’t keep her nose out of anything. but thankfully we have very little to do with her. My brother’s wife C, has verbal diarrhea and thankfully lives far away.

i’m not going to go into any big background details because i have no idea where to start and it would only drive me into a darker mood than i am already in.

when my son was 2, D got him a big and complicated remote control car for his birthday. with a son the same age, you would think she would realize how not age appropriate this is. the next year, when he was 3, she got him a full construction set with saws and hammers. again, you would think she would know better. i got in trouble from TH for telling them that we had to put it away because the age on it was 6+. it took years for me to realize that she was spending next to nothing on my kids and to do the same. i always want to spend more on the kids, but if she is only going to spend $15, then fine.. so will i.

c, is awful to talk to because an incredible stream of nothing comes out of her mouth. this year she sent the kids christmas presents (unwrapped, no explanation, unexpectedly), and we have yet to get their birthday presents. to be honest i don’t care if they don’t send anything. i know money is tight for them, but to send the christmas presents and then 2 weeks later send the birthday presents a month late? why bother?

i am being uncharitable and judgmental. i know.. but i feel better for letting it. don’t you feel better for listening to it??? 😛

darkness

i am a dark mood for sure right now. i had an exhausting morning! There are so many things to do around the house that i am feeling overwhelmed, my body is aching. TH was an ass last night over a diaper. not changing one, one that had been taken off.  i won’t go into it, but he was snappy nasty. i didn’t react, but i did get up and deal with it. i always do. then today i came in exhausted and when he did the garbage last night he didn’t put in a new bag. i don’t even have the energy to put in a new bag and i feel like just leaving the garbage on the counter and letting him deal with it. so juvenile.

i will deal with it, it’ll be done before he gets home because little things like that aren’t worth a fight. save the fights for the big stuff, right?

another reason for my dark mood, other than the fact that my special lady time started a week early even though i am on the f*&king pill, is that i have been reading all these blogs about women who have had affairs, got caught or didn’t and are working on their marriages. not only do i not have enough of a marriage to work on, he wouldn’t care to. he likes things the way they are. his needs are all taken care of, so why would he be unhappy? he doesn’t have any physical needs. i HATE that if i want it, i have to go elsewhere. why does it have to be like that? why is it such a big deal? why do i not matter enough to him? why can’t i have a real relationship? am i being too whiney?? lol. it is raining, i am menstrual, i feel like crying.